


Just to be With You

by lovelyday86



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 01:50:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16965444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyday86/pseuds/lovelyday86
Summary: After years of not speaking Doyoung is reunited with Jaehyun at their friend's wedding.





	Just to be With You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spicyboyfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyboyfriend/gifts).



> For TJ who is always more understanding than I deserve.
> 
> Title from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcC5VGOx8I8)  
> 

Doyoung knows by the look on his friends’ faces that he’s about to get parented. _Hard._ Usually he would protest, he’s almost 30, but Johnny and Taeyong always had a parental aura about them that was easy to accept and hard to resist. He racks his brain to figure out what might’ve warranted the approaching intervention, but his mind draws a blank. He’d even started eating healthy, a mixed greens salad for lunch instead of fast food tacos. “Rabbit food,” a voice calls from somewhere in the tombs of Doyoung’s dusty memories. He pretends he doesn’t hear it, doesn’t recognize whose voice it is and the facial expression they would make while saying it.

“So,” Taeyong starts, thankfully interrupting Doyoung’s train of thought. “Johnny and I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“I can see that.” Doyoung buries his chin in his scarf and crosses his arm across his chest, bracing for impact.

“Subtlety was never your strong point was it, babe?” Johnny teases, voice fond. It’s not a compliment and yet is makes Taeyong smile up at him, bottom lip trapped in between his teeth. Perhaps if Doyoung hadn’t been desensitized from all their years of knowing each other he would’ve gagged. “First of all, thanks for everything. You know we couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I wasn’t aware I was a contributing factor in the two of you deciding to get married.” Johnny and Taeyong share a look and Doyoung’s gut twists just a little.

“You know what I mean,” Johnny replies. “You’re Taeyong’s best man and our florist. Who else could take my picky fiance tuxedo shopping and find that many orchids for centerpieces and whatever else you’re gonna put the orchids on.”

Doyoung waves the praise away with his hand. “That’s nothing.” It’s not really nothing considering how busy the past few months had been. After taking over the shop from his parents Doyoung had grown the business and now was one of the most popular florists in the city. There were already a few wedding planners who would only work with him and his reputation was starting to spread. It only made sense for his closest friends to ask for him help and Doyoung was happy to give it to them, Taeyong’s occasional groom-zilla meltdowns aside.

“Doie, it’s not nothing,” Taeyong says. His voice is soft and Doyoung knows he’s trying not to get too emotional, something that was happening more frequently the older they got. “We know how busy you are and we appreciate all you’ve done to help us with the wedding. We love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Doyoung replies easily because it’s an easy thing to say to them. “But why do I feel like the other shoe is about to drop?” His friends share another conspiratorial look and this time he does groan out loud. “Come on, guys. I’m a big boy. Just say it.”

“Well,” Johnny starts. “You’re Taeyong’s best man…”

"I am,” Doyoung confirms, impatient.

“Mine is Jaehyun.”

Doyoung is careful to keep his expression neutral. “I know.”

“You know?” Johnny and Taeyong ask in unison. It's a little creepy.

“Of course it’s him. Who else would it be?” Johnny scratches the back of his neck, a nervous habit. “Also I’ve seen the mock ups of your invitations. Your planner showed me the last time she stopped by the shop.”

“Oh,” Johnny replies. He hesitates. “ I’m sorry. You should’ve heard -”

“No,” Doyoung cuts him off. “ Don’t do that. Don’t be sorry.”

“But -” Taeyong tries.

“It’s fine,” Doyoung forces his hands to stay in his lap instead of messing up his hair in frustration. “It’s been a long time. It’s okay. I promise.”

“Are you sure?” Johnny asks, shoulders hunched in a foolish attempt to look small. Everyone at the table knows it’s a stupid question. It’s unfair because they all know Doyoung is a good guy and an even better friend so there’s only one answer he can give.

"I’m sure,” Doyoung replies. He even manages a smile because he loves his friends that much. “Please stop worrying about me.”

Taeyong snorts. “As if that will ever happen.”

The conversation goes further and further away from wedding talk and by the end of dinner Doyoung finds himself smiling and laughing genuinely. It’s not until he walks outside that he feels the uncertainty settle somewhere in the middle of his chest.

 

//

 

_“Do you think we’ll get married one day?”_

_It had been a long, long day of midterm exams and rushing over to the shop to help his parents so the question takes Doyoung off guard. “Why? Did another one of your celebrity crushes get engaged again?”_

  _No!” Jaehyun’s pout is endearing and he knows it, constantly using it to get his way. Doyoung still isn’t sure if he just allows it or if it’s simply that effective. “Johnny and Taeyong are for sure getting married so I was just wondering if we will too.”_

_“What makes you say that?” Doyoung asks, genuinely interested. “You can’t know that for sure.”_

  _Can too,” Jaehyun quips, sticking his tongue out for good measure. “Sometimes you just know these things.”_

_“You sound like my mom.” Doyoung settles next to Jaehyun on the couch, pulls on his boyfriend’s legs until they rest in his lap and he can work his thumbs into the arches of his feet._

_Jaehyun sighs, contended. “Keep this up and I’ll put a ring on it asap.” Doyoung hums in response and the room falls into something just shy of a comfortable silence. “But seriously,” Jaehyun starts again. “What do you think?”_

_“Realistically? I think we’ll either get married or break up.” For his candid answer he receives a kick to the side. “Ow!”_

_"How dare you.” Jaehyun is pretending to be greatly offended and it makes Doyoung laugh. “My feelings are hurt. Apologize immediately.”_

_The game is on and Doyoung crawls up Jaehyun’s body until they’re hip to hip, chest to chest, the weight of his body pushing Jaehyun into the cushions of their secondhand couch. “How’s this?”_

"B _etter.” Jaehyun slides both hands into the back pockets of Doyoung’s jeans. “Imagine if I did this and there was a ring box waiting for me.”_

" _Please,” Doyoung scoffs. “That’s not how I’d do it.”_

" _Oh?” Jaehyun follows his question with a firm squeeze to Doyoung's ass. It makes Doyoung's breath hitch and god Jaehyun will never get tired of hearing that sound. “How would you propose then?”_

" _You'll just have to wait and see.”_

_There's no more talking after that because their mouths are occupied doing other things._

 

//

 

The ceremony is beautiful. Even someone as detached from romance as Doyoung can see that. He loses his composure halfway through Taeyong's vows and is thankful that both the tailor and the wedding planner insisted he put a handkerchief in his pocket. There was no one else in the world who deserved their happily ever after more than Johnny and Taeyong. Doyoung is so happy for them that it almost doesn't matter that Jaehyun is standing opposite him almost the entire time.

Ignoring each other comes easier than expected. From what he could gather Jaehyun was busy with work and that's why he didn't fly in until right before the wedding. Doyoung considered it a small miracle because this meant that he was safe for the entirety of the rehearsal dinner. The actual wedding day is a blur of activity, making sure Taeyong didn’t cry until his eyes were swollen shut and inspecting every single floral arrangement to make sure it was to his standard Turns our posing for pictures with the ex you hadn’t seen or spoken to in years only required occasional eye contact and close proximity to each other. It’s easy to pretend the tension between them isn’t palpable when Johnny looks like he’s living in a dream, smiling dopily at all of them and lovingly at Taeyong. Doyoung doesn't really look at Jaehyun, not until the reception when Jaehyun is giving his best man’s speech he couldn't at the rehearsal dinner.

“Damn, he's really here.” Doyoung rolls his eyes at Ten, another one of the ancient relics of his college years. “Listen, I dunno what bullshit platitudes you gave our newly wedded friends so I'm gonna ask you this. Are you okay?”

There was no point in lying to Ten, one of the only people besides Johnny and Taeyong who knew what happened between him and Jaehyun. Where the couple utilized a soft touch and gentle understanding, Ten was tough love and blunt honesty. It was one of the things Doyoung loves about him and the quality that saved their friendship after their disaster attempt at dating. Doyoung doesn't realize how much of a relief it is to stop feigning indifference until he starts talking.

“Maybe.” Jaehyun is still talking. He makes a reference to their freshman year when Johnny was too intimidated to ask Taeyong on a date so he asked him to study instead and Taeyong declined. It makes the guests laugh and Jaehyun smiles down at the mic in his hands, proud. “Then again maybe not.”

“Why?” Ten keeps pushing.

Maybe it's because of Ten's nature or maybe it's just the slight buzz after two glasses of champagne and not enough to eat, but Doyoung continues to tell the truth. “Seeing him makes me sad. He looks good, great actually. I want to be happy for him, but instead I'm just sad.”

Jaehyun's speech ends, the guests clap, pick up their silverware and tap them against their glasses. A clinging sound echoes through the reception hall. Johnny leans down and gives Taeyong a kiss.

“I bet,” Ten whispers into Doyoung's ear after the DJ starts the party music. “That his ass is still flat as hell.” Doyoung slaps Ten’s arm before leaning on his shoulder. Letting it all out had made the tension leave his body. They’d always been able to depend on Ten to lighten the mood. “Besides,” Ten continues. “He’s had his eyes on you since the speech ended so you’re welcome in advance.” Doyoung turns his attention to the front of the room, his head still resting on Ten’s shoulder. He locks eyes with Jaehyun for a moment too long before Jaehyun blinks, turns on his heel and hands the mic back to one of the event coordinators.

Unsurprisingly Doyoung drinks a little more than he should. He's not drunk, just on the other side of tipsy and the thought of putting on an old pair of sweats and getting into bed sounds much more appealing than another trip to the open bar. He makes sure to find Taeyong before calling it a night. As expected Johnny is totally drunk, jumping up and down on the dance floor with some of his high school friends while Don't Stop Believing by Journey blasts from the speakers. To avoid travelling with a hangover they'd scheduled their honeymoon for the following weekend. Taeyong bids him a tearful goodbye, crushing Doyoung in a hug that deep down he really appreciates. He teases Taeyong for crying again and Taeyong shoves him away.

It's just his luck that the coat check is empty when he gets there. He rings the bell on the desk a few times before giving up. Doyoung isn't usually the rule breaking type but it's way too cold outside for him to go home without his coat so he hops the desk to get it himself. It's just his luck that the only other person illegally in the coat room is Jaehyun.

Up close and devoid of any distractions Jaehyun looks even better. His bow tie is undone, hanging around the open collar of his dress shirt which is already untucked. He'd styled his hair up and away from his face and which only drew attention to how classically handsome he was. _Fuck._

“I -” Jaehyun starts and stops, the tips of his ears slowly turning red under Doyoung's scrutiny.

Doyoung doesn't make a move, just leans against the desk and watches as Jaehyun takes step after hesitant step towards him. When they're standing toe to toe all it takes is a hitch in Doyoung's breath for the dam to break.

The cliche isn't lost on Doyoung, sloppily making out in the coat room of a fancy hotel. It's ludicrous that he's doing this at this age with his ex boyfriend of all people. The situation strikes him as funny and he's about to laugh except Jaehyun's hands have moved from his hips to his ass and he moans instead. He wonders if it’s possible to have muscle memory for someone else’s body because how could the years melt away from just kissing? It doesn’t make sense that their bodies would react just the same when so much had changed. Jaehyun isn’t at all subtle about grinding against Doyoung’s thigh and it makes Doyoung groan. His fingers find purchase in Jaehyun’s hair and then -

“Excuse me.” Doyoung expects Jaehyun to jump away from him, but he doesn’t. Merely turns his head at the sound of another person’s voice. “You aren’t supposed to be back here.”

“We apologize,” Jaehyun replies without missing a beat, picking up his discarded jacket from the floor. “Your ticket?” It takes a half second too long for Doyoung to realize Jaehyun is speaking to him before he fishes the crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to Jaehyun who passess it to the attendant. “If you could just get his coat we’ll be out of your hair.” The attendant returns with an armful of black wool gabardine and from what Doyoung can see Jaehyun tips her very generously. “Sorry again,” Jaehyun says before taking Doyoung’s hand easy as breathing and pulling him out into the adjacent hallway.

“I have a room here,” Jaehyun says. It’s not a question, but it is and Doyoung takes his coat from Jaehyun’s hands before replying.

“Okay.”

Doyoung supposes this is sort of sexy. Meeting Jaehyun again after all these years, both of them still young and attractive and dressed to the nines in a five star hotel, but as the numbers on the elevator increase with every passing floor the less sure he is about what exactly it is that he’s doing. The elevator comes to a halt at 35 and Doyoung can’t help but be impressed. Jaehyun had that kind of money. The doors open and Jaehyun steps out, but Doyoung is frozen in place. They stare at each other across the threshold until the doors start to close, but Jaehyun stops them with his hand at the last minute.

“You’re already here, you might as well come in,” He reasons. “No funny business. I promise.”

Doyoung snorts, but steps out of the elevator and starts to follow Jaehyun down the long hallway. “Funny business?”

“No more making out like a pair of high school students at prom,” Jaehyun amends, holding his keycard up to the scanner and stepping aside to let Doyoung in.

The room is just as fancy as Doyoung expected it to be considering how high up they were and he whistles in appreciation. “Nice digs.”

“I guess,” Jaehyun brushes it off. “All hotels start to look the same when you’re constantly sleeping in one. He drops all his stuff on a coffee table next to an untouched bowl of fruit and a box of chocolates. He leaves one shoe by the table and the next a few steps away as he makes his way to the full length windows to open the curtains. “The view here isn’t half bad though.” It’s an understatement. Doyoung leaves his dress shoes by the door and walks over to stand next to Jaehyun by the window and whistles again. Maybe it wasn’t a sunset by the ocean or the picturesque Rocky Mountains, but Doyoung had always thought the twinkling lights of their city were beautiful in their own way. Jaehyun looks at Doyoung looking at the lights until he’s caught staring. “Uhm, you hungry?” he asks. “Because I’m fucking starving.”

“Sure,” Doyoung replies. “I could go for some food.”

“Right,” Jaehyun nods. “Sure. I’ll just order some room service. Make yourself at home.”

Jaehyun doesn’t ask Doyoung what he wants because he knows.

It’s late and the kitchens must not be busy so it doesn’t take any time at all for the food to arrive. Doyoung eyes the expensive looking bottle of wine suspiciously and Jaehyun’s laughs.

“Sorry, I’m a sort of a wine snob now.”

“That’s terrible.” Doyoung feels so light when Jaehyun laughs again, loud and too carefree for their current situation.

“Excuse me for needing a little liquid courage to get through this meal.”

“Point taken.”

They eat at the couch and table inside the bedroom because every other flat surface in the room is occupied with Jaehyun’s things. For someone who Doyoung assumes travels all the time for work he didn’t seem to be very organized, but then again this was Jaehyun they were talking about. There had to be a method to all the messy madness. The food is delicious and Doyoung enjoys the free meal in what he interprets to be a comfortable silence. He can’t quite tell because he can feel every point that his right thigh is touching Jaehyun’s left. Maybe it’s not fair that Jaehyun seems completely unaffected when less than an hour ago he had his crotch pressed against the same exact thigh. Jaehyun finishes more than half the wine by himself and maybe a lot of things were different, but the flush on his face signaling that he shouldn’t have anymore drinks was exactly the same.

“Man,” Jaehyun starts, his words slightly slurred. “I can’t believe we were almost going to fuck.”

Even to a practically sober person the statement is still funny and Doyoung has to cover his mouth with his hand to hide his guffaw. “That’s presumptuous of you.”

“No way,” Jaehyun insists. “I’m right. I know the signs.”

“The signs,” Doyoung parrots, complete with air quotes.

“I know what I’m talking about!” Jaehyun sits up suddenly but the movement must make the room spin because he leans back into the couch immediately. “You do this thing. You’ve always done it. It’s like… a noise. A non noise really. It’s a tiny sound. I don’t even know if you can hear it, but I can. It’s like a breath but, but not and -”

“Nooooo,” Doyoung interjects. “Nope. No way. This is exactly what we’re not doing. No reminiscing allowed. This is how we keep it from getting weird.”

Jaehyun blinks at him. “Isn’t it weirder that it’s not weird at all?”

“I have to pee,” Doyoung says because he doesn’t have an answer to Jaehyun’s question.

He does use the bathroom, washes his hands and splashes some water on his face. Doyoung stares at the reflection in the mirror looking for any changes because he has to look different after everything that just happened. To his own disappointment he just looks like himself. When he walks back into the bedroom he finds Jaehyun in bed, under the covers fully dressed, and fast asleep. It’s a relief and a disappointment all at the same time, but the logical part of Doyoung knows this is probably for the best. There can’t be an awkward goodbye if no one has to say it.

He’s about to leave the bedroom when he hears the rustling of sheets followed by Jaehyun whimpering. Doyoung figures it’s just a bad dream, but Jaehyun seems so restless in his sleep that he considers waking him up when he remembers something he hadn’t thought about in years. He walks to the foot of the bed, lifts up the comforter, and sure enough Jaehyun is still wearing his socks. Jaehyun couldn’t fall asleep with socks on. It didn’t matter if the temperature was in the negative and they were both bundled up in several layers of clothing because the heating in their shitty apartment was unreliable. Jaehyun could never wear socks to bed. Doyoung sighs. He removes Jaehyun’s socks and just like magic he settles down instantly.

The sound of the door closing behind him is too loud, the lights in the hallway too bright.

If everything was supposed to be different then how come so many were still the same? There’s an ache in Doyoung’s chest and the sadness is back.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelyday_86)   
>  [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lovelyday86)


End file.
